Don't Make Incapacity Planning a Secret

You finally did it – you put your healthcare surrogate, living will and durable power of attorney (advance directives) in place. It was hard to think about yourself as being incapacitated and unable to communicate your wishes, but despite the discomfort, you took the steps to put in writing your choices as to who you want to communicate for you and what you want them to communicate if you can’t communicate yourself.

Now you put these documents in your safe deposit box along with your other important documents and check this task off your “to do” list. However, you are not finished. Putting these advance directives in place is a two-step process. The first step is actually getting your thoughts and wishes properly on paper. The second step is to let your family know that you have taken this step and explain to them what you want.

Your wishes are not as effective if your family doesn’t understand them. Putting your wishes on paper is certainly much better than doing nothing, but especially when it comes to medical issues, your wishes may not be self-explanatory. For instance, what is quality of life for you? If your family has to choose between keeping you alive by artificial means and letting you die a natural death, do they know which choice you prefer? Do they know why? Will they have to make this choice with doubts that may haunt them for the rest of their lives or can they make this choice knowing they are doing exactly what you want them to do?

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of accomplishment just by putting your wishes on paper. Take the next step and communicate, communicate, communicate. Your family will be grateful that you did.